


Thor and Rocket’s Big Adventure

by alexcat



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Drinking, F/M, Fluff, Gambling, Gen, Humor, Multi, Prostitution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-30 02:19:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18306197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexcat/pseuds/alexcat
Summary: Thor and Rocket leave angsty earth behind and head out on an adventure.





	1. Chapter 1

_"The only true wisdom consists in knowing that you know nothing.”_ ~ Bill S. Preston (and Socrates)

 

The battle was done and lost. They had lost so many people. Thor mourned his brother and his people. Rocket mourned his entire crew. They had traveled together to earth and they stayed together now. 

When Steve Rogers and what was left of the Avengers left Wakanda and returned to New York, Rocket and Thor returned with them. The facility was in upstate New York, out in the country, far from prying eyes. 

“This is one dull place, Thor. They tell me there’s a city close by with some real excitement,” Rocket said over breakfast. 

“What kind of excitement, Rabbit?” 

“Rocket! It’s Rocket. Gambling. I like gambling.”

“I don’t know where to take you. What else?” 

“Fighting.” 

Thor laughed. “You haven’t had enough fighting?” 

“What do people do for fun here?’ 

“They read a lot. They eat. They go to movies.” 

Rocket sneered. “And Peter Quill thought this was a great planet. No fighting, no gambling, nothing.” 

“We could start a bar fight. I’ve done that a few times but I always beat the crap out of mortals. It gets boring when you know you’re always going to win,” Thor said. 

“We’ve got the pod. We could go somewhere more fun.I know a great little moon with prize fights and the best whorehouses anywhere. They have anything you want. And the gambling is great. They kill you if you get caught cheating. I always cheat!” 

“Sounds like a place my brother would have loved.”

“He sounds fun. You’re kind of dull for a god.”

“I am not dull. I am just more centered.” 

Rocket laughed. “Face it, dude, you’re dull, boring.”

Thor finally agreed to go with Rocket. They went to the hangar where the jets were stored. The pod sat there away from the Quinjets. When Rocket and Thor went to board it, a guard blocked their way. 

“Hey, dude, this is my pod.”

“No one leaves the hangar. Sorry.” 

“By whose orders?” Rocket asked

“By the main office.” 

“Who is the main office?” Thor asked. 

“Mr. Stark, sir.” 

“Then call him.” Rocket turned to Thor. “Which one is Stark?”

“The one who talks all the time and makes no sense,” Thor answered with a grin. 

“Let’s go talk to this windbag.”

They went back into the complex and found Tony. “Hey, dude, Thor and me, we wanna go on an adventure and some dick with a gun said you won’t let me leave in _my_ pod.”

“Where do you need to go that takes a pod? Can’t you find some adventure here?”

“We wanna go to Corvallis IV. The casinos there _kill_ you if you cheat. I love ‘em.” 

“If you want gambling, you can go to Vegas,” Tony offered. 

“What do they do if you cheat?” Rocket asked. 

“Ban you for life. Make you pay them back.”

“Where’s the fun in that? I like a little spice. Know what I mean?”

“You like danger?”

“Yeah. And I always cheat.” 

“Thor, what’s your interest in this?” Tony turned to him and asked. 

“I like the rabbit.” Thor would never be known for his wit. 

“What if I let you go and you get into trouble?”

“How will you rubes know? You don’t even have space flight yet,” Rocket shot back. 

“True, true, but I know some clubs. Secret gambling establishments, brothels, places where a man can have some fun.” 

“Do I look like a man?” 

“I was thinking of Thor,” Tony answered, looking to Thor for some help. 

“What does he know? He showered with Peter Quill and we heard noises coming from them.” Rocket looked at Thor and leered. “Bet ya didn’t know we knew.” 

Thor actually looked a little embarrassed, especially when Tony raised an eyebrow and said, “Really?” in that always irritating way he had. 

“I was very dirty,” Thor offered, “from being tortured and such.” 

“Peter Quill, nice guy but a little too impulsive,” was all Tony said about that. 

“So are you gonna okay this or do I shoot my way out?” Rocket put his hands on his hips, something that might have been confrontational in a human, but was simply amusing in a talking raccoon. 

“No shooting. No shooting.” Stark held his hand up. “Come back inside and we can talk about this. I am not sure the rest of the planet needs to know we have aliens staying here right now.” 

“You don’t think they might have figured it out when half the fricking universe disappeared?” 

“Come back inside for now.” 

Thor agreed and Rocket had little choice but to follow them back into the complex. There was food, always of interest to Rocket, so they ate. Rocket spent a little time ogling Natasha. 

“She single?” he asked Stark. 

“Dude, you’re a raccoon,” Stark said. 

Rocket looked completely put out. “So?” 

“Um, Rabbit, she’s with the green guy,” Thor told him. 

“I haven’t seen any green guy. You’re shitting me.” 

“He’s not green now.”

“Oh, you mean the nerdy guy?” Rocket asked. 

“Yep, that would be our Banner,” Stark laughed. 

After dinner, Rocket went to the room he was assigned and promptly fell asleep, dreamed of gambling planets and three breasted hookers all night long. 

Thor went to talk to Stark again. 

“I think I’d like to take his pod and go off planet. He is an alien and he’s not happy here.” 

“He’s a fucking raccoon, Thor!” 

“So? Maybe out there, he’s not so unusual.”

Tony finally said, “I give up! Go. Gamble and fuck your way across the known universe. Just get your asses back here within a couple of weeks. We might need you.” 

Thor smiled. He’d tell Rocket in the morning.


	2. Chapter 2

_No one is blowing up moons._ ~ Gamora 

 

Tony Stark was as good as his word. He okayed Rocket and Thor leaving the next day. 

“So where are we going?” Thor asked Rocket once their little craft cleared earth’s airspace. 

“Corvallis IV. Hookers, great craps games, racing, drugs, alcohol – everything anyone could want.”

Thor shrugged. “What are we looking for?” 

“Fun. To forget our troubles. Shit and giggles.”

“I’m not too bad at drinking and whoring, but I’m not much of a gambler.”

“Oh I am and I love to steal things. Did mention that?”

Thor laughed. “I kind of figured it out when I saw you stuffing your pockets with food this morning.” 

Rocket pulled an amazing amount of snack food out of his pockets. He also pulled out someone’s cell phone, an assortment of nuts and bolts and a pink bra. 

“Why do you have a bra?” Thor was laughing harder and harder with each handful of stolen booty that Rocket revealed 

“Heh, I like the color. Candy?” He offered Thor a chocolate bar. Thor shrugged and took it. 

*

Corvallis IV was a moon, a large moon completely filled with vice. It had huge, flashy casinos alongside small, dank gambling dens. Hookers dotted every corner of every street as well as there being some well-established brothels. A person could buy illegal drugs, black market weapons and even people if they knew where to look. 

The governor of Corvallis IV was a tiny woman who could have been twenty or two hundred, it was hard to tell. No one saw her the same. Whatever race she was, she was a chimera. The person who looked at her saw what they wanted to see. Her name was Borealis. 

“Rocket!” She ran up and embraced Rocket when he got of their pod. “How did you manage to get here in that thing?” 

“It’s the only thing I had available. Was hoping to find something to trade for here.” This was news to Thor. 

Borealis pointed to Thor. “Is he yours?” 

Thor started to protest, but Rocket broke in. “He’s my bodyguard. Not too bright but he’s got abs of steel. Show her your steel, Thor.” 

Thor went along and flexed his rather nice muscles for her. 

“Asgardian, isn’t he? We don’t get too many of those out here.” She stepped closer and felt of his arm. She also pinched his bottom. 

What he saw was a small woman who looked a little like Jane and a little like Natasha Romanov. Rocket saw a busty woman who, to be honest, looked a lot like Jessica Rabbit. 

“Come along, boys. Be my guests tonight at dinner. We are entertaining the Crown Prince of Xastao. He is here to celebrate his coming wedding to the Sisters of Glum.” 

“How many sisters? I do love a pile on,” Rocket said as they followed Borealis to her conveyance, a carriage pulled by men, men even bigger than Thor with one large eye on their foreheads. They were called Cyclopians (What else?). Thor helped Borealis inside, then he and Rocket got in.

The governor’s home was actually the only mansion on the moon. It was vast and made of white stone. The furnishings were from all over the galaxy. A servant showed Rocket and Thor to their rooms. There clothes already laid out for them, formal attire. Rocket’s was a military style uniform while Thor’s was a white robed affair. 

“I look like a silly monk,” Thor told Rocket. 

“I think Borealis wants you out of the robes anyway.” 

“You’re trading me for a ship?” 

“Well, not all of you and only for a few hours. I need her to get me into the highest stakes games. I need high stakes to buy a ship.” 

“How do you know you’ll win?” 

“I told you, I cheat.”

“And the penalty is death?” 

“Bingo!”

Thor shook his head.

*

Dinner was a fancy affair with seven courses. Borealis sat Thor right beside her and all during dinner, she rubbed his thigh, higher and higher every time. Oddly enough, he didn’t mind that much. It got a little odd when she got higher than his thigh. At least the robes would cover him if he had to stand up for any reason. 

Rocket watched with approval. He could almost see himself at the craps game now! 

Things got even stranger after dinner when the Crown Prince of Xastao asked Thor to dance. With him and his brides. All ten of them. The good thing was the dance mostly consisted of Thor standing still while the very tall, very thin and very purple Prince and his wives, who were all exactly alike, danced around him. 

What Thor didn’t know was that every time one of the wives twirled near him, she stole a tiny sample of his DNA to mix with hers to make new crown princelings someday. It was just as well as it did not end well for any of them. But that is a tale for another time. 

After the dancing, Borealis told Rocket that the Cyclopians would take him wherever he wanted to go. 

“My only requirement is you not blow anything up, Rocket.” 

Rocket answered, “That’s quite a hardship for me, but I’ll try. Try not to break Thor. I might need him later.”

Borealis smiled her most seductive smile at Thor, “I promise nothing.” 

And she was gone. 

*

They met at breakfast the next morning. Rocket had his pockets full of cash and whatever he’d managed to steal, which included a bomb and four pink marbles. Thor was sore. All over. Turns out that Chimeras are also quite a bit more flexible than humans or Asgardians, and they can grow extra parts when needed. Borealis had more body parts than she needed, it seemed to Thor. More body parts than anyone needed, to be honest. 

“Now what?”

“We buy ourselves a ship and some weaponry. And we head out.”

“Head out where?” Thor was really tired and his arse hurt. Borealis used some of her extra appendages to probe any opening she found. 

“Space, my big friend, space.”


	3. Chapter 3

_There's nothing wrong with women, of course, I like women. Sometimes a little too much._ ~ Thor

Rocket bought them a nice little converted pleasure craft. 

A converted pleasure craft is a nice term for a smuggler’s craft. All the places where passengers and amenities had once been were now secret cargo bays and holds. The cruise engines had been replaced by small freighter engines to handle the added weight of smuggled goods. And there were weapons, because sometimes smugglers have to shoot back.

Rocket named the ship the _Dick_ for Peter Quill, he said. Thor smiled at the name. He couldn’t argue with it at all. 

“Now what?” Thor hoped he didn’t encounter any more women with so many – appendages. 

“Now we make our way to the center of the galaxy!” 

“Where is that?”

“I’m not sure what the real name of the place is but I’ve always heard it called the Dildo.”

“The Dildo?” 

“Yep, it looks like a giant dildo in space. It even a has a big set of –“

“I get it,” Thor answered. Some things he simply did not want to think about. After his encounter with Borealis, giant dildos were one of those things. 

“So what will we do there?” 

“I might can bargain for some real fire power, if you’ll spend a night with Princess Reah.”

“You want to prostitute me again for weapons?” 

“Hey, the ladies don’t know what they’re missing with me, but they do seem attracted to all your large --- attributes.” 

“My _attributes_ are tired and sore. Who knew you could wear it out?” 

Rocket laughed and grabbed his crotch. “She’d have been better off with some of this. Mine doesn’t wear out!” 

Thor stared out the window while they popped into faster than light then popped out near what could really only be described as the biggest dildo in the universe. It was pink, bubble gum pink, and it was a long shaft with a large knob on one end and what appeared to be two balls on the other end. 

“This is a planet?”

“Well, it’s really a manufactured space station but most people just call it The Dildo.” 

The communications system buzzed. 

“Unknown ship, identify yourself.”

“This is the _Dick_ requesting permission to land.”

“The what?” The person on the other end sounded as if they were laughing. 

“Rocket Raccoon and I’m flying the _Dick_.” 

“Oh hi, Rocket. I thought that was you. Come on in. You’re cleared to land.”

They aimed the ship for what appeared to be a small hole in the center of the knob. It was actually the opening to the landing bays. 

“See? Just for us. It’s even called the Dickhole!” Rocket said gleefully as he glided into the bay and landed his little ship. 

A stunning Kree woman met them as the disembarked. Her skin was tinged blue. 

“Rocket!” She picked him up and planted a kiss his furry cheek. “What have you brought me?” 

“This is Thor. He’s a big one!”

“Oh, he is. He looks like an Asgardian. Are you one of Odin’s get?” 

Thor nodded. “I am Thor, son of Odin, God of Thunder and the King of Asgard.” 

She smiled at him and touched his arm. “And you’re so pretty, too.” She turned to Rocket. “He looks tired. Have you been to see Borealis?”

“Yep. That’s where I got my ship.” 

“You know when she finds out you cheated, she’ll send someone after you?” The woman said.

“How do you know I cheated?” 

She laughed, a beautiful and frightening sound. “You always cheat, my dear Rocket.” 

He shrugged. 

“Oh, Thor, this is Princess Reah of the Dildonium Consortium. She owns The Dildo.”

She smiled at Thor. “And as long as you’re here, I own you, too. Come, boys. I’m sure we can find some food for you and perhaps some balm for your aches. Borealis does love to probe her new pets.” 

As they walked. She asked Rocket what exactly he was there for. “I need more fire power. Thor and I are having an adventure. After Thanos wiped out half the galaxy, I figure I’m due a damned vacation.” 

“You buy weapons as a vacation?” 

“Nah, I gamble as a vacation. I buy weapons because eventually I’m gonna blow Thanos into a zillion tiny pieces and scatter them all over the damned universe.” 

She nodded. “My kinsman, Ronan the Accuser, worked for Thanos. It did not end well for him.” 

Rocket wisely held his tongue, a miracle in and of itself. She didn’t need to know that he was part of Ronan’s end. 

They boarded a bullet car that apparently took them down to the other end of the shaft. There one could see both balls, as it were, and there were the casinos and brothels in one sphere and the other sphere held merchants, merchants who sold almost anything.

There was narrow bank of buildings serving as a wall between the spheres and that is where Reah lived. 

Thor had kept quiet, but he was getting worried. Was he going to end up dead out here before he had a chance to avenge his people? Did he even have people? Was he going to end up fucked to death by some strange woman? 

He didn’t think this one would probe him, but if he remembered his Kree correctly, he might end up beaten or tortured to death. That was something to look forward to. He wished he had his axe from the ship. 

Perhaps he should have stayed on earth with the Avengers. 

The doors flew open and a woman, no, a Valkyrie, his Valkyrie, flew into his arms. “Thor! You’re alive!”

“Valkyrie! How did you get here?” 

“Honestly, we got away from the destruction and I got really drunk and woke up here.”

“It’s been several weeks. Where were you?” 

“Your guess is as good as mine. I got a message from the ship that said they were okay and hiding.” 

“So there are Asgardians out there?”

She looked at him oddly. “Yes. Why?” 

“Thanos destroyed most of our people and then he destroyed half of all the people in the galaxy.” 

“Oh shit! I was really out of it for a while!” 

Thor happened to remember Rocket. “Valkyrie, this is my friend, Rabbit.”

“The name is Rocket, you big buffoon!” 

Valkyrie nodded to Rocket. 

“Thor and I are vacationing after recent stressful events. Ah hell, I’m pimping him out and using the money and favors to gamble. What are you doing here? Reah doesn’t allow malingerers.” 

“I’m mostly drinking myself into a stupor every night and sleeping with men and women who look like Asgardians. I have suspected the Reah gets paid by some of them as they do act a bit proprietary.”

Thro grinned at her. “I’ll sleep with you when the feeling comes back into my – well, when I get feeling back.” 

She kissed his cheek. “Finally wore it out then? Who knew? Did you visit Borealis? Did she probe you?”


	4. Chapter 4

_Because that's what heroes do!_ ~ Thor 

Thor and Valkyrie drank and talked into the night, or at least until they both finally passed out. Rocket and Reah threw a blanket over them where they sat. They talked and drank some more.

“Kids, what’re ya gonna do?” Rocket said. 

“Are you planning on taking my lovely girl away? She’s made me quite a bit of money in her few weeks here. I send her to the men who like a good beating. That seems to be her forte. She’s almost as good as a Kree at cruelty.” 

“Maybe I should trade you Thor. Not seen many women who didn’t want him. He doesn’t know it, but letting Borealis probe him bought me a ship and a pocket full of cash. I aim to gamble all that cash away or get so rich I can buy this dildo from you.”

She laughed. He might get rich, but there had to be something here that would tempt him to let go of his money as fast as he got it. 

“Any chance I can borrow the Asgardian? There is a politician here that I need to blackmail and setting him up with Thor and a hidden camera might just do the trick.”

“Not sure he goes for men, but you can ask, I guess. I’d need some fuel rods for my trouble, either way.” 

She smiled at him. Reah was so beautiful that when he looked at her, he wished he were Kree for just a few hours. “Deal. You must talk him into it for me.” 

And so Thor was pimped out to a three-eyed politician from a planet that sounded like PLRRRRP to Rocket’s ears. This time he got off easy. All he had to do was be naked and appear to be doing things with the PLRRRRPian. 

Rocket and Thor got enough fuel to get them to several more planets and Reah got what she wanted. Valkyrie said she’d go as far as the next stop so she boarded the _Dick_ and off they went, exploding out the Dickhole and into space. 

“Is this what you did with Peter Quill?” Thor asked. 

“Nah, we rode around _helping_ people, of all things. Now and again, we ‘d get a little money for our trouble but mostly we just flew around watching Quill kiss the green girl and wondering when he was going to get us killed.”

“So where to?” 

“Casinos? Brothels? I won a free vacation at a place called Walt World. I think it’s just an old farming colony turned into an amusement park or something.”

“You mean a children’s park?” Thor asked. 

Valkyrie laughed. “Nope, an _adult_ amusement park. Nude beaches, dungeons, sex clubs, brothels, and a sex slave auction, if I’m not mistaken. Why the hell are we going there, Raccoon?”

“Casinos, cards, cheating!” 

“I would like to not date anyone there. I’m _still_ sore from Borealis,” Thor said. 

“I don’t see no bruises,” Rocket said. 

“The sore is where you can’t see it! Besides, when you said adventure, I was thinking of battles and war!” 

“We need money to buy guns and stuff to make bombs with before we go adventuring.”

“I am a weapon,” Thor said in his decidedly Asgardian way. 

“Do I pick you up and point you?” Rocket asked. Valkyrie was enjoying the show. 

Rocket won the squabble mostly because it was his ship. They headed for Walt World. The resort was on a lovely blue planet not unlike Earth. It was on a continent all to itself. It must have been the main income of the planet as it took up most of the habitable space. 

They landed and were met as they disembarked the _Dick_ by two androids who looked like young women. They were very well programmed and the only thing that gave them away was a slight glitch in their walk that made them throw their right leg out in front of them before walking on it, sort of like a perpetual Hokey Pokey. 

“We are A and B. Welcome to Walt World. We feature ten thousand pleasures for your enjoyment. Please proceed to the kiosk forty meters to your right and fill out the survey so we may best suggest activities for you,” A said in a singsong voice. 

Rocket shrugged and they headed to the kiosk. Each one of them filled out a survey and B closed her eyes for a few seconds and blinked a few times after she opened them. “Rocket Raccoon, the Lands’ End Casino is your best match. Valkyrie, Rum Runners Saloon is your best match. Thor, your best match is – we could not match you. A representative will come for you in a few seconds. Please wait here.”

A short green woman with huge glasses came out. “What is the problem?” she said crossly. 

“Your robot said I have no match,” Thor told her. 

“Nonsense! Everyone has a match!” 

Thor just stood there with his arms crossed over his chest. The green woman checked his survey on her tablet. She tapped her stylus and tapped a second time. She looked at Thor. 

“Well, you don’t seem to have a lot of interests. We have no King of Asgard activities and we have no fighting epic battle activities – wait, there is one thing you might qualify for. The ‘being pampered and spoiled by elderly women activity.’”

“You are making that up!” Even Thor was not fooled by that. It sounded like a euphemism for being pimped out again to him.

“Well, how about we pay you to wear something skimpy and sit around by the pool at Happy Retirement? You get all the food and drink you want and they get you.” She looked very pleased with herself. 

Thor looked at Rocket. “So I’m being pimped out _again_?”

Rocket shrugged and grinned. “At least you ain’t gotta bang the old bats.” 

Thor turned to the green woman and asked, frantically, “I don’t have to, do I?” 

“No, no. We don’t want our seniors to have heart attacks. How would we make money if they died?”

Valkyrie was laughing so hard that tears ran down her face. When she regained some of her composure, she said, “We’ll come visit, won’t we, Rocket?” 

Rocket laughed and slapped his leg. “We wouldn’t miss it for the world! We’ll even take pictures to show the folks back home!”


	5. Chapter 5

_I used to want to be a Valkyrie_ ~ Thor

Thor was the hit of Walt World’s Happy Retirement center. The old ladies loved patting on his firm buttocks and waiting on him. They brought him drinks and treats and called him baby names like ‘Sweetie’ and ‘Honey Pie’. They rubbed sunscreen on him, smoothed his shaggy hair and cheered aloud when he came out of the pool dripping water. 

Rocket gambled. And cheated. And got tossed from every casino.

Valkyrie drank and started fights and got tossed from every bar. 

They all had a blast. 

So much for sex clubs and nude beaches, thought Thor. He should have known it wouldn’t be that simple. 

On their last day, Valkyrie persuaded Thor to go to a nude beach with her. He didn’t mind. He liked being admired and Valkyrie wasn’t hard to look at naked either. Rocket refused to go with them.

“I ain’t goin’ nowhere without pants,” he told them and assured them he’d be fine on his own for the day. 

Many of the beings on the beach were not human or even humanoid. Thor loved the sea and swimming and the beach goers loved watching him. He and Valkyrie swam and sunned themselves until noon. As they walked back to their rooms, Thor told her. “I’m glad I didn’t have to deal with any appendages!” 

Valkyrie laughed and punched his arm. “Borealis really freaked you out, huh?”

“Her idea of pleasure and mine were not the same.” 

“Not sure you’re up for the sex club then,” she said. 

Thor actually blushed. Valkyrie hooted with laughter. “How about one of the bars I’ve not been kicked out of then? Better?” 

“Better. I know how to drink, and it doesn’t hurt until the next day.” 

Valkyrie laughed some more. “Did your father know what a big chicken you are?”

“I am not a chicken. I just don’t want to be probed!”

“You know he got a ship and money for that, don’t you? What did you get?”

Thor grinned ruefully. “A sore ass and an escape.” 

They found a bar that had not banned Valkyrie yet and began to drink. Several hours later, Thor and Val were the only ones standing. 

Rocket came running in the door. 

“Quick! Hide me!”

“Get kicked out again?” Valkyrie asked him. 

“Not exactly. But I’ll be dead soon if you don’t hide me.” 

Valkyrie hid him in her leather coat. 

A moment later two raccoons came strolling in, both wore pants and looked a lot like Rocket. 

“Where’s the little bastard at?” one of them asked Thor.

“Who are you asking about?” Thor answered, thinking he looked innocent, but being quite guilty looking instead. 

“A guy who looks a lot like Renyard here. He cheats at cards and we want our money back!” 

From God knows where, Valkyrie pulled a blaster and aimed it at the two raccoons. “Beat it! Can’t you see I’m busy here?” She grabbed Thor’s crotch. “I paid good money for this man and I don’t have time to hunt raccoons with you idiots. Now GO!” She shouted and lurched toward the two. They ran from the bar without looking back. 

Rocket popped out as soon as they were gone. “She is so cool! Why can’t you be this cool, Thor?” 

Thor looked quite offended. “I am quite cool, I’ll have you know, Rabbit.”

“We need to get out of here, you dolts. They’ll be back,” Valkyrie said to them as she drained her glass and set it on the bar, shouting, “One for the road, barkeep!” 

“I know where we can hide,” Thor told them as they ran out the door. 

They went to the Happy Retirement Center. The old ladies who loved Thor found his companions equally adorable, agreeing to protect the pretty little girl and the cute kitty from any bad guys who showed up. 

Thor couldn’t help but laugh when one of his fans grabbed Rocket, began petting him on the head and calling him Puttycat. Rocket never said a word, just smiled and ate the little treats the ladies kept giving him. 

They stayed the night with the ladies, then boarded the _Dick_ and high-tailed it out of there early the next morning. 

“Where to, my friends?” Rocket asked. 

“Perhaps we should return home,” Thor suggested. 

 

“Whose home? Asgard is gone and I have no home, so where to?” Rocket asked again. “Earth? We do have a spiffy new ship and some nice hardware, not that I’m letting them have it.” Rocket hadn’t yet told them about the shipment of military weaponry and hardware he’d stolen from the Raccoons and he figured now was not the time to become honest. 

“I’ve never been to Earth… is it worth the trip?” Valkyrie asked.

“Banner is there… he doesn’t Hulk anymore but he’d like to see you. They have good alcohol and handsome women and men,” Thor told her. 

“Let’s go see Banner then! Point this bird toward, Earth, Rocket!” 

And off they went!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Thor, Rocket and Valkyrie will return later...**


End file.
